Life. You Know?

I am so tired of adulting. 

You know what I’m talking about: all the responsibilities, obligations and time commitments that go along with being a “grown up” are draining. Add 4 kids to the mix and the adulting requirements increase exponentially. It’s exhausting at the best of time you guys. 

Right now, it’s damn near killing me.

via GIPHY

Last week my husband and MIL loaded up my van with a bunch of cardboard, paper and other recycling and then climbed in to go do those chores and an array of other errands. They drove out of our driveway and were immediately hit by someone who was speeding down the road and had just run/raced the red light two houses away. Right in front of our house. I’d said “see ya later” as they walked out the door and a couple minutes later I hear a massive boom, walk to the front of the house, look out the window, and what do you know? There’s my van (and the other persons car) smashed and in pieces right in front of my house. 

Everyone seems to be just fine I think - they’ve got stiff and sore necks/backs, and my MIL has some seatbelt bruising (her side of the van was impacted) - but other than that ok. 

But -

MY van... The only vehicle we have that accommodates our family of 6. The one I’ve driven every single day (or nearly) for the past 10 1/2 years. The vehicle I was going to need just hours later to take a kid to one of their activities, and then later to take another kid to theirs. 

Since that moment I’ve spent hours on the phone dealing with insurance, and getting a rental, and a host of other things. I spent one afternoon shopping to replace the car seat that was relegated useless after being through a collision. I’ve spent countless hours researching the value of my beloved van and looking for replacements. And now I know I’ll have to spend even more time doing that as my van has been deemed un-fixable and I HAVE to replace it. 

Ugh. 

All this on top of the normal multitudinous daily tasks and responsibilities I take care of every day. 

I’m tired of adulting. And I’m so physically and mentally exhausted that I’ve had no drive to write anything all week. I added maybe 50 words to my NaNo story before I heard the big boom. It sucks and I know that there is no way in hell I’ll come close to 50k words this month. But on the plus side - everyone is okay and I’m getting an unexpected vehicle upgrade. 

via GIPHY

How is your writing going though?? Are you on target to “win” NaNo this year?

Summer's Over - Back to Normal?

Hey There Everybody!

It’s been a long summer… Okay, truth, some parts of the summer seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye, while other parts did seem to drag on. However, truly accurate descriptions of this summer would be – active, busy, fun.

July passed in a blink and was full to the brim, scratch that – overflowing with family activities, kid activities, friends, trips, and more. August, always an eventful month for the Corner Table Family, was also busy though I’m happy to say we were able to find a couple days here and there when we simply had nothing to do and could kick back and relax. But summer holidays are (as of tomorrow morning) officially over and we’re all going to be back to a regular schedule and able to focus on things, work or otherwise.

Photo Credit: LD Ferris, 2016

There will be a few feature changes on Ups, Downs, Ins & Outs – nothing major; a few simple changes in schedule or additions. Inside My Mind should see more regular postings – I’m hoping to start with weekly and then bump it up to twice weekly in a month or so. On both of these blogs I will also be trying to look for folks interested in doing guest posts.

A Corner Table in My World will also start to see more regular postings. Honestly I’m not sure what the final goal will be there besides simply more. There a lot of things that happen in our daily lives that I could talk and write about but I’ve always shied from simply regurgitating everything I do everyday. So I guess one goal will be to figure that shit out.

So that’s what I wanted to let you know today. If you take nothing else from this post make sure you catch this: Hi everyone, we’re back!!!

My Recent Daily Routine

Spring has arrived – on the calendar and (despite today’s more gloomy and chilly weather) outside as well. Like everyone I enjoy getting out after the colder winter months but I like it much better when it’s nice and warm, almost hot outside and tend to emerge from my winter hibernation a little later than others. But it has been warm enough, even for me, to get out for a few hours here and there.

 

The change in weather is going to cause some obvious adjustments to how I structure my day but right now I’ve actually got a pretty good routine happening, especially considering the recent rough months that I and my family have been going through. While I’m still reading daily and doing daily promotions, I am also doing a lot more writing and editing right now than I have been doing for quite some time.

My day’s lately have been going mostly like this:

•  get coffee and get kids off to school
•  check for updates on social media
•  check email (& return if necessary)
•  get another coffee
•  review writing from previous day and do basic spelling and grammatical corrections
•  check again for updates and post featured book of the day on social media
•  get another coffee and (maybe) a snack
•  write
•  make random google searches about random topics directly or indirectly related to writing
•  lunch (maybe)
•  check social media again and update statuses
•  write some more
•  get children from school and deal with after school activities, dinner prep
•  read while kids do homework and/or after dinner
•  send children to bed
•  check social media, update statuses, reply to messages
•  have a glass of wine or other drink
•  write or read until bed

…Then I sleep and repeat.

So I have a question for you – what have your days been like lately? Are you reading more or less than normal? Are you writing? Are you focusing on editing?

Or is it possible that Spring Fever has caught you and you’re distracted by the opportunities to get outside and active again?

Hellish Months

The last 4 months have been hell. I can't deny that there have been good moments because there have, many of them in fact. But I can't honestly look back at the last few months and feel all that much joy or happiness. It all started simply enough with my back going out. An event that has happened before and though painful, has never really slowed me down for more than a couple days.

This time it did.

Thus followed 6 weeks of chiropractic care, massage and physical therapy, and basically being restricted from doing anything more physical then walking back and forth between my car and house (or doctors, etc) because seriously even sitting upright for more than 30 minutes at a time made me lose the feeling in my feet and hands. Eventually I was finally given the clear to resume my normal activities, though there was firm insistence that I make some adjustment for when or how long I worked each day. And then I got sick. For more than a couple weeks I had migraines, fevers, congestion and more icky-ness to help make my daily life miserable. 

The holidays came and went. I was still sick - some days more than others. 

Then word came down from my parents and aunt that my grandmother, who was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago, was doing increasingly poorly and they (as well as her doctors and other health care aides) believed that she would soon be passing away. Within a matter of days the family was asked to ensure that someone was with her as much as possible. Because I was still sick more often then not, I couldn't be at the hospital all the time so I was relegated to other tasks in preparation for her funeral and memorial. 

After collecting nearly 1000 photos ranging over almost 90 years of life, it was my duty and privilege to put together a memorial video that would eventually be distributed to all the family and those family friends who requested one. 60+ hours of work went into the video, and while I was happy to be able to make it and to see all kinds of pictures of my grandmother (and other family members) in youth, every moment was heartbreaking. Because to finish the video, to finally put an end on it, meant that she was gone. 

Every morning we would call for an update on how she was doing. Every night we'd check in to see how the day had been. There were some good days but there a lot of bad one too. It got so that every time the phone rang you both hoped and dreaded that the end had come. When the phone rang one night while my husband and I were watching TV after getting the kids all off to bed for the night, where happy (sad?) to see that it was a call from the 'other side' of the family. So you can imagine our surprise when his mom informed us that his aunt had passed away very suddenly less than an hour earlier. Blindsided by the news we numbly sat side by side and sort of, but not really, finished watching our show. Then we spent a sleepless night trying to figure out how and when to tell our children of this unexpected loss. 

Receiving the call from my own parents before seven a.m. the very next morning, that my grandma had (finally) passed away was another blow. And while this we had quite obviously been expecting, combined with our family loss it became a far heavier load than we'd thought we would be carrying. 

The next several days passed in a blurring rush - informing the kids, calling family, finalizing funeral arrangements, finishing the video, writing a memorial speech with my sisters last minute, and simply getting from one point to the next, and the next. The family viewings were on the same evening. The funerals occurred on the same day: one in the morning and then one in the afternoon. Family dinners. Meetings. 

It's been a couple of weeks now and life is slowly returning to normal. I've even been writing every day this week, a bit each day on a few different projects. So, I guess we'll see what we see.

In the mean time... Happy writing.

Writing... Why?

I’ve been writing for years. I have a hard time expressing myself in spoken word (not to mention that I get stage fright anytime I have to open my mouth and speak in public) but give me a pen and paper, or a computer and keyboard and I can put exactly what I want to be said, and explain everything that I want to be understood, into written words with little problem.

I’ve always told stories. I remember being in Jr. High School and getting on the bus in the morning and telling my friends about the dreams (even then they were incredibly vivid dreams) that I’d had the night before. Sometimes I’d write them down in a notebook or my diary, sometimes I wouldn’t.

In high school I wrote several short stories that my teachers told me were wonderfully imaginative and well written. In university I heard the same kinds of comments for my writing.

It wasn’t really a surprise (to me, anyways) when I finally decided that I wanted to publish. The journey has been long and has had many detours and road blocks that have crept in the way. Through it all though, writing was one thing that I knew no one could take away from me. Other’s could make me feel horrible about myself, to the point that I found it difficult to even write, but no one could take away my ability to tell a story. Not completely anyways.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’m back to focusing on writing (and promoting of other authors’ works as well) nearly full time. I don’t know what’s different this time but I just know that this time I’m actually going to get to the point where I actually do publish. Whether I make a name for myself, whether I make money or make enough money to support myself by writing isn’t important – I really just want to publish. I don’t know whether I’ll end up publishing by traditional routes or via self-publishing, but I want to publish and I’m going to do it.

I want to be able to tell people that my books can be bought on Amazon, or iTunes, or Kobo, or Smashwords, or whatever. I want to be able to say “yeah I’ve got 3 published novels”, or “I have 17 novellas available for purchase.” The money hardly matters, though yeah, it sure would be nice. But making money isn’t the reason to be writer. It’s not the motivation behind it, or it shouldn’t be.

Honestly, really, I just want to tell my stories. They’ve been mine so long and the characters just want to be given the opportunity to make you love them as much as I do. So I have to write them. I have to publish them.

Yes, I hope you like them. I hope you love them.

Yes, I hope I make at least a little bit of money – you know maybe enough to pay the bills and feed my kids.

But the truth is... Whether you like my stories and characters or hate them, whether I never make a dime and or break even in the process of publishing, I’m still going to write.

And maybe that’s the difference this time around. Rather than worry about creating something that everyone else might like or might pay for, I’m making sure that I’m creating something that I love and something that I can be proud of.

Because in the end, that’s what’s really important.

Coming Back

When I started this particular blog I was writing a lot. Not always every day, but taking time a couple of days a week to put words to paper.

Then I really got into things and did start writing every day. Sometimes for several hours, sometimes only for a few minutes here and there, but every single day. That time was wonderful and honestly was one of the best writing periods of my life. 

And then I let life absorb me and I was hardly writing anything more than a grocery list for months and months on end. I barely read a book, I definitely didn't work on my novels or any other writing, and I gradually became more unhappy.  In time, some aspects of life turned around and though I became happier, I still wasn't writing.

As often happens, life changed again. And I was destroyed.

I became not just unhappy but miserable. I wasn't writing because I simply couldn't find the words. I was reading, some, but nothing new and everything was very dark, very depressing.  I holed up in my house, only leaving when necessary and stopped talking to all except a select few.

Weeks, and then months went by and I knew that I something had to give.  Nothing was going to change if I made no attempt to change it; if I gave no effort towards making a change.

So I focused on my kids, my family, and I made every effort to spend time with them. Took the extra steps to make that time special. I cleaned my house - going through boxes and bags that had been put into storage, getting rid of things we no longer needed and making sure to preserve special items.

I purposely sought out "happy" books to read, or maybe happier is a better description. And though my own words still wouldn't come, I signed up for and diligently worked to help promote the works of other authors.  I kept myself busy reading, reviewing, blogging and doing promo's for others, so that I didn't leave myself a lot of time to think about all that I'd lost.

Then one day I sat down at the computer and opened a new Word document, and the words just started pouring out.  Maybe the story idea had been percolating in my mind for awhile without me really even knowing, but suddenly the words were simply there.

A couple hours later I looked and I'd written over three thousand words.

It's been a few months since then and I've been writing my own words in fits and starts, and whenever I can. Sometimes it's a blog post, sometimes it's fan-fiction, and other times, the really good times, I work on my own stories.  Not always the same one but I'm writing again, and it's a beautiful feeling.  A wonderful feeling.  It's a feeling that I've missed for a long time.

That idea that came to me out of nowhere and slammed three thousand words onto the page, now sits at just under 20,000 words. The whole story has been planned out and my main objective over the next couple months is to finish it, and then to do whatever necessary to get it published.

This time, I'm not going to let anything get in my way. 

This time I won't give it up.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

After months and months of concerns, questions, worries and the occasional contradictory moments of feeling success and unhappiness, it's come to an end. In what is still a baffling turn of events (even after a full month of looking back and doubting myself, my previous actions, asking myself "why?", and generally feeling smaller than I've felt in more than a decade), I'm finally starting to look forward again, to tomorrow and next month and to next year and beyond.

And now that I am looking at the future again, I'm beginning to realize that in many ways I've been spinning my wheels. Figuratively, obviously. I've spent so much of the last 6 months waiting. Waiting for this to happen, so that I can do that. Waiting for this person to get me information about something so that I can do that thing. Just - waiting. Now I'm seeing that the holding pattern I was in was of particular design to keep me somewhat busy and somewhat content, so that I wasn't asking questions about what was going to happen next, where I was supposed to be going, or when the next step was going to be presented to me. It's an unfair position to be placed in but I suppose I'm not entirely blameless in the situation... I let it happen to me after all.

I was unhappy, bordering on miserable for a portion of the time, but despite my complaints and grumbling, I never really did anything to change the situation or push for more. As position, work and power was torn from me, as I watched those around me suffer in concert, I started to believe that I couldn't fix things and therefore as more time passed, I hardly even tried. And maybe I couldn't have fixed things. Maybe trying only would have pushed us all into the current situation sooner. But I should have tried, I should have pushed, and I should have realized far sooner that waiting wasn't doing anyone any favors (except those who will remain unnamed), least of all me.

Now ideas for the future are percolating in my mind and family and friends are happy to see and support a change in attitude, a change in goals and plans. But most of all they are happy to be supporting me in an endeavour that will create a better, happier, more stable situation for me, my family and, hopefully, a whole array of other people - young and old, as well.

So wish me luck! And I promise that as things move forward I'll do my best to keep you posted!!

Till next time, be happy and keep looking forward!

So Busy =)

LOL - So as the title of this post suggests, I've been so busy lately that I honestly haven't had time to do much of anything, especially not for writing.  In light of that for this week's post I'm merely going to share the links of some of my past posts here.  I know this is a lazy way of doing a post, and I promise that next week I'll have something new to say, but I just don't have the time right now to do more...


These posts span back over the last 3-4 months, so you may have seen them before but for those of you who are seeing them for the first time, and even if you're not, I hope you enjoy them!

So This is What I'm Doing

The "Where's" of My Writing

My Writing Soundtracks... Er, Playlists

Taking the Paranormal In To the Everyday

Making Time in a Busy Life

Working Through The Tough Spots

Thus Sprang Inspiration

I hope that from this list there is something that draws your interest, your eye, your opinion, and maybe even your imagination!  


Thanks for stopping by and I'll see you again next week!

Thus Sprang Inspiration

I found out Tuesday evening that one of my friends from high school had passed away in a car accident earlier in the day.   We just celebrated our 10-year high school reunion this past July.  He had just celebrated his 29^th birthday a few days ago.  And in an instant, he was gone.  Some people may say “that’s life,” or that “it happens” and while that is certainly true, obviously true, it doesn’t make it any less shocking, or make it hurt any less. 

He was one of those guys who was the epitome of a gentleman.  He was always kind and polite; he always held the door for a lady and pulled out her chair.  He would carry your bag for you if it were too heavy, and always asked if you wanted anything when he was going to the vending machines or the store.  All in all, he was just a really great guy and the world was a little brighter with him in it.

Gaily I lived as ease and nature taught,
And spent my little life without a thought,
And am amazed that Death, that tyrant grim,
Should think of me, who never thought of him.
~René Francois Regnier

The shock of this loss made me think about some of the men that I’ve written into my stories.  The type of men that they were in the beginning, and the type of man they each will become by the end of their stories.  It has surprised me greatly, over the past few hours, to discover that the men I’ve written carry so many of the characteristics that I find in the men who have surrounded me all my life. 

From the 5-year old boys who selflessly share their crayons with the other kids, to the high school teenager who stops on the way to school to give rides to kids who are walking. 

There are the 20-something year old men who are willing, and happy, to help babysit their friends kids; or the ones who shovel your sidewalk every morning when it’s really cold, just so that you don’t have to. 

In looking at my male characters, I found one in particular who reminds me of my passed friend.  My memories of him must have formed some aspect of the inspiration for the character, and through that character, for me, my friend will live on.

When working on and developing your characters, from where does your inspiration spring?

Making Time in a Busy Life

We all have busy lives and hectic schedules.  Maybe you work 40+ hours a week as a nurse, an accountant, a lawyer, or a teacher.  Or you may be a student with a full course load and a part-time job.  You could be a mom or a dad busy with bath-times, temper tantrums, school schedules, extra-curriculars, lunches, dinners, breakfasts and snacks.  You may even (most likely) be some combination of all of the above. 

Image by jjpacres via FlickrSo what does that mean for the time you’ve got to write?

Usually, if you’re human and not some mutant-type being that requires no food, rest or free-time, it means that if you truly want to write, you have to make the time to do so. 

It could mean that you’re writing during your lunch time. 

You may have to write in 15-minute stretches between classes or during study breaks.

Or maybe you have to take advantage of nap-times to sit down at the computer and write.  You could be that parent who is sitting with a notebook on your lap and scribbling ideas down as they come to you, while you’re watching the kids in gymnastics/skating/swimming lessons/etc.

The bottom line, no matter what you do or who you are, is that you’ve got to use the time that you can, take advantage of every moment that you can grasp and write.

I have three kids – 7-, 5-, and 3-years old.  The oldest is at school all day and the middle one is in doing half-days, while I (mostly) stay at home with the youngest.  They each do gymnastics, putting us at the club 3 days a week for their lessons.  The two younger ones also do skating lessons twice a week and the oldest started piano lessons this fall too.  On top of this I’m working part-time as well.  And that is just what we’ve got to do outside of the home – there are still of course all the regular chores, errands and tasks involved in caring for and taking care of a home and three kids.

So when do I write?

Honestly, whenever I can.  I keep a notebook in my purse with a pencil so that I can jot down ideas when I’m waiting for the kids at school or watching lessons.  I spend an hour or two in the morning on the computer checking e-mails, working on my blogs, ‘playing’ on Facebook and Twitter, and doing revisions and edits on my work.  And I spend an hour or so after I put the kids to bed most nights writing and working on my stories. 

Does this happen every single day? No.  Does this ‘schedule’ work every single time I use it? No.  Does it work more often than not? Absolutely.

We’re all busy people and we have to take that into account.  Very few of us, especially when we’re starting out, have the time or freedom to spend 8 hours each day writing and working on the computer.  But we all wish we could.  We all work toward the dream of being able to do just that.  Until then, all we can do is write when we can, and carve out as much time as we can manage.

So find the time that works for you, be happy writing and keep up the good work.

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And don't forget that it's Wednesday so we've got the Writer Wednesday Blog Hop going on!  To link up and hop click on the button to the right, and we'll see you around!

50K in 30 Days

It is definitely that time of year again.

And amazingly I can almost hear the “Whaa?”

No idea what I’m talking about? No guesses? Come on!

Hhhmm…..

That’s right! It’s NaNo time again!!!

Now for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, and have apparently been living under a rock for the past 12 years…

NaNoWriMo = National Novel Writing Month = November

What does that mean?

Simple.  From November 1^st – November 30^th you write your heart out.  Your goal is 50,000 words in 30 days, or 1667 words per day.  Now, those 50,000 words should make up a pretty good start for a novel.  Realistically 50k words, all by themselves only makes up a novella length story, but really – is that something to complain about?  Can you really hear yourself saying on December 1^st “But it’s only 50k… That’s only a novella.”  BIG NO!

If you finish your 50k by midnight on November 30^th you pass into the glorious annals of history (of NaNo) as a winner, and you’ve got a 50,000 word manuscript sitting on your hard drive that can be added to, edited, revised and polished into a full length novel and you got there in 30 days!

That’s not chump change, my friends.

So the big question on everyone’s mind (well everyone who knew what I was talking about in the first place) is whether or not they are going to NaNo this year…

Last year I started with big plans.  Yes, I actually planned last year, thank you very much.  I had the idea for The Gifted percolating in my head and it wanted out.  Take a look at the side of this page, see the progress meters for the stories?  See the one for The Gifted?  See how it’s just over 5000 words? 

That’s me and my spectacular NaNoWriMo 2010 writing fail.

So will I be doing it again?

Hhhmmm….

Probably.  Okay, yes I’m going to do it… but ssshhhh – keep reading.

I’m not really sure that this year’s progress, or accomplishment, will be much better than last year.  Honestly, I’m just as busy, if not more so than I was last year and this year I’m also working part time too. (I’ll tell you all a bit about that next time maybe. It’s something new.  Sort of.)  But this year I’m also going to cheat.  A bit.  Slightly.  Sort of.

I actually got the idea to cheat from another writer who, like me, has a lot on the go right now and doesn’t want to ‘lose momentum’ on the projects that their already working on.  For me, it’s not so much about losing momentum as it is about actually getting something done.  I’ll be shifting back to The Gifted again for NaNo this year.  And the just more than 5000 words that I’ve already written?  I’m not tossing them.  When the story is “completely finished and ready to be published” those words and the beginning that I managed to write last year, will be there.  BUT I have the story to a point right now where it’s almost time for a ‘time jump.’

No, not time-travel, but that beautifully crafted jump in our stories where months pass in the blink of an eye.  Or with the turn of a page, as the case may be.  So November 1^st I’ll be starting immediately after the time jump.  Hello word count = 0! 

Will November 30^th find me at 50,000 words?  I really hope so. Mostly because I’d like to be able to come back and say “Yes, I finished!” but also because then I’d be 50,000 words closer to finishing that story. And remember how I said that while the idea had been percolating, that the story really wanted to be told.  Uh huh, now the characters are nearly as loud and obnoxious as my kids with their demands that their stories be told.  Really, NaNo this year may be my only hope for sanity.

And okay… LOL.  I think I’d better stop now, while you don’t think I’m completely off my rocker, and maybe, I don’t know… Go write something.  But not The Gifted, I’m saving that for NaNo. 

I think I’ll go to Greece.