When Life Gives You Lemons, Or Some Such Thing

Before the kids got out of school in June I had started to feel as though I was hitting my head against a brick wall when trying to write. So I decided to take a break - to read more and to relax. To spend more time focused on the kids while they were home, and on Heli Dad, and on myself. It was a good summer and exactly what I needed.

When I started sitting back down at the computer on a regular basis in August, I still wasn't ready to wade back in to the projects I'd hit pause on in June. But I started writing.

I finished a fan fiction story I'd begun years ago - to the delight of many long time readers who'd still been waiting to find out how it would end. And when that was done, I still had more to write so I started another, one that had been sort of simmering on a back burner in my head for a couple years, just waiting.

I needed the break.

The full stop.

The mental rejuvenation.

I've needed this chunk of time where I've essentially just been writing for fun again. This grace period where I haven't had to worry about all the gritty details. I don't have to build the world, or create the characters... I can just let the words flow while I tell a story.

The crazy thing is that before the break, I was struggling to write 500 words a week.

In the last month I've written roughly 45,000.

And there are more. I don't sit down at the computer and wonder what to write. I know what I want to say and how I want to say it. I know where the story goes, how it ends, and how to get there.

As the words simply spill out of me for this fan fiction story, I find my mind is also working on the ideas and plot points, and all the little details that I'd been struggling with so much in the Spring. I jot down these random bits and pieces every day. I'm connecting dots that I hadn't even realized I needed to connect. In my mind, I'm finally getting all the various puzzle pieces of the story (my original works story) sorted out. I'm figuring out where and how all the disparate details fit together to create the big picture.

Somehow I simply know that when I switch back the words I need will be there. While it may not be as free flowing as this fan fiction writing has been, I won't be beating my head against that brick wall anymore either.

Writers -- have you come up against this before?

To clarify, I'm not talking about writers block. Not really. I could still write. The thing was, I was forcing it, hard, and you could tell.

So what did you do? What do yo do?

Did you keep attack the brick wall, pumping out words that sort of, but not really fit with what you wanted to say? Do you redirect? Take a break?

What do you do when your story is dammed up inside your head and you just can't find the right key to open the floodgates?

Writing Words

I don’t know if I could specify an exact period in my life when I began writing. When I look back, I was always writing something, always making up stories or journaling my days. After all, what pre-teen/teenage girl doesn’t have her secret diary where she recounts all the absolutely horrible-awesome-unbelievable-heartbreaking things that happen to her every single day???

Growing up on a farm I can remember whiling away the hours while cutting acres of grass on a little riding mower, and the whole time I would be telling myself stories – out loud of course because the mower was typically loud enough one could barely hear themself think, and it wasn’t as if there was anyone around for miles to hear me talking to myself. Sometimes, if I liked the story I came up with while mowing, I would later pull out a notebook and write it out. I still have some of those notebook-ed mowing stories in my keepsake boxes. Some are truly cringe worthy but even the most horrible of them illustrates the potential for storytelling that lived within me, even then.

via GIPHY

But it was really when my eldest son was a baby that I thought to myself, “I’ve got all these ideas and stories just percolating in my head, why don’t I try to get them out?” At that point I was already a voracious reader, frequent book reviewer on my original blog, and had also been writing fanfiction for a couple years, so the idea of writing my own original stories was, to say the least, enticing.

So, I started typing.

Carving out time, when and where I could, to write. To allow the adventures, the dreams, the characters – the stories – out of my head. When I couldn’t sit down at the computer, or escape for a bit with my laptop, I got into the habit of packing around a notebook and pen. It wasn’t uncommon in those days to find me scribbling notes (ideas, a turn of phrase, inspired dialogue) while sitting at skating lessons or while the kids played in the McD’s play place.

There were so many ideas that rushed forward in those early years. I’ve got files and files, and files, and I’m frequently adding more as new ideas crop up. There are dozens of ideas that I’ve never gotten around to even attempting to flesh out and really develop. Then there are the ones that I did focus on. The ones I took time to see where they might lead, see what kind of story it was that was waiting to be told.

And from those, there are a handful that I’ve truly delved into and narrowed my sight on. Those stories have weeks and months, and more, of time invested in them. Time spent researching locations, myths and legends, educational course paths for various (and sundry) careers, and a wide variety of legalities aimed at specific situations. Time spent doing character development and profiles, family trees, detailed timelines, and even drawing out the floor plans for homes featured within those stories.

Then the writing.

via GIPHY

God, the time spent writing. Hours upon days, upon weeks and months, and years. All that time getting words onto screen and paper. Time spent on revisions and rewrites.

All those words.

Because words are what make the story. You start with an idea – the heart and soul – and with words you build everything else: the bones and framework of the plot, the muscle and tissue that give it weight, and most of all, the blood and breath that gives it life. Without the words there is simply an amorphous thought waiting.

I spent the past weekend going through my writing files because I had finally decided which one of my stories to focus on this year and to finally, actually, finish. This was one of my writing goals for 2019 that I talked about in my post last month. The result of that perusal being that this week my heart hurts (more than) a bit and I’m unusually obsessed with those words. Because you see, just more than a third of the existing files for that story were damaged-corrupted-unreadable-inaccessible. The originals and the backups. One third of the chapters I’d already written – just gone. At the very least fifteen thousand words lost.

I cried, quite literally and dramatically, when I’d finished tallying things up and realized just how much was gone.

via GIPHY

It’s not even that I can’t rewrite those missing chapters. I can and will – if the geek squad pro’s that I haul my computer and flash drives to can’t recover them. It’s the fact that while some of those chapters are just the ‘bones and muscle’ of the story, a few of them are ‘blood and breath’ parts. While I may not be able to remember every word I wrote in those chapters, I remember very clearly how I felt when I wrote them. And there’s this part of me that is terrified that if/when I rewrite those sections, I won’t be able to pull off the same level of intensity, same depth of emotion. Quite simply – I’m afraid it won’t be as good this time around.

If rewriting those chapters from scratch becomes necessary, I’ll do it. I’ll do it to the very best of my ability… but man, right now the fear of that prospect is sitting right up there with the hurt of having lost the chapters in the first place.

Writing Rules

Every day I see posts online expounding on the "rules" of writing. The rules you need to follow if you're going to be a writer, if you want to be a good writer, if you want to publish. Every expert has something slightly different to tell you - some of their rules may cross over between them, but their lists are different. At the base of it, their lists are just what works for them. Their rules are the things that worked for them, the guidelines they used while writing.

Writing: Characters give us a peek into who they are. We form bonds. #amwriting #amediting pic.twitter.com/OqJ0w7PGTl

— Writing & Editing (@WrtrStat) October 27, 2017

But here's the thing...

Each writer is different. Each one of us has our own methods, our own system - to put it simple, we have our own way. What works for one writer won't necessarily work for another. I guess there's something to the saying "You do you."

I think there is one thing that stands for every writer though, one overarching rule for us all:

Write every day. That simple.

Write. Every. Day.

What are some rules you have? Or ones you follow?

Building Characters & Giving Them Life

Creating characters that are full of life, personality, well-rounded and real is far harder to do then you might think. It’s more then describing them, more then giving them names, history and physicality. It takes more then rich colorful language and a strong handle of how to use it.

Photo: FreeImages.com/JasonAntony

And honestly, characterization is one thing that I have often struggled with. Creating diverse settings that pulse with a life of their own – that I’m generally good with, it doesn’t faze me. But doing the same for my characters… simply not the same.

One trick I have learned is to not sweat those descriptions during my first draft. (Simply put: during that first draft it’s perfectly fine to simply say “she has green eyes” or “he has dark brown hair.”) If you’re like me and struggle with your characters, in the first draft just focus on getting the story down first. Once you’ve got that done then you can go back and add more. 

With story down on the page you can go back and focus on the characters – describe their looks; give color and depth to their personalities. (“His rich brown hair was so dark, in moments of fantasy it sparked images of having dipped him in lush dark chocolate.”) Give them quirks. (“I discovered that she had this annoying habit of lifting her dark brows and opening her brilliantly green eyes wide, making them appear even more like highly faceted emeralds set into the fine setting of her face.”)

Photo: FreeImages.com/StefanHellwig

Once you do that you’ll discover that suddenly they’re alive and you’ll better connect with them. Then you build them emotionally – give them strengths, weaknesses, fears and dreams. And that’s when you find that now they have that pulsing life that you need from them. 

That’s when they become real.

It takes time. Patience.

But the more you write, the more often you’ll find that without even focusing effort on creating real, life-like characters that you’re writing that spark into them thoughtlessly. Some characters will grow easily, organically on the page and some are frustratingly more difficult.

The bottom line is to find a method that works for you, whatever that may be. But also remember that sometimes your method will change, with certain stories or characters you may go about their creation differently. And that’s okay.

So what are some methods you use for creating, building and bringing your characters to life?

Writer's Nerves

For the last month I’ve been working on a new story. Well, it’s actually probably closer to two months now but the last month has been spent focused exclusively on this story. In any case, I’m nearly finished the writing part of it and will be moving on to the personal edits and proof-reading phase soon, and then trying to find a couple beta’s to read it. I’ve got my fingers crossed that I’ll be able to have this story into the hands of a special few by the end of the month.

Which sort of has my stomach in knots.

This specific story came at me from out of no where. Unlike almost all my other writing projects (of which there are many – all at varying degrees of completion, and all waiting for this story to get out the way so I can move back to them) this isn’t one that I dreamed of for a protracted period of time. When I sat down and started writing I really didn’t know all that much about my characters. I didn’t know their histories, their secrets and desires, or their dreams, and I had absolutely no idea what these characters were going to tell me.

 

And the result is something completely different from anything I’ve written before.  I’ve always written with some shade of paranormal, magical or mystical basis to the story line. Some of what I’ve written before uses mythology as a springboard for the plot. This story has no magic. No myth. There’s nothing paranormal, mystical or fantastical about it.

Instead, this story is a contemporary romance. 

 It’s about second chances, and love and family.

It’s about doing the right thing for all the right reasons, no matter how hard that may be, and then living with consequences – no matter how wrong that may feel. It’s about forgiveness. Not just forgiving others but learning how to forgive yourself too.

All of which boils down to me being nervous of the outcome, the final product.

But you know, as nervous as I am… I’m pretty excited too.

How Do You Write: A Book Bible

In the past I’ve talked about Plotting vs. Pantsing as the method of writing you (or I) may do. Simply put a Plotter has a plan and knows their entire story before they ever begin to write the first draft; a Pantser simply begins writing with a (sometimes) vague story idea and characters. Both methods have their advantages and disadvantages. In the end, your method is entirely up to you and is your own personal choice, typically made by what works best for you. And sometimes you may even be a little bit of both.

Personally I’ve gone both ways. I’ve sat down and written entire short stories without ever having any idea what was going to end up on the paper.

I’ve begun large writing projects with little more than ideas derived from a song or based on a dream.

Other times I’ve dreamed the entire story in specific, explicit detail from beginning to end, written a synopsis to get the basics of the story line down on paper and done more extraneous work (timelines, character descriptions, setting info) to get all the story details out of my head and written down.

My Recent Daily Routine

Spring has arrived – on the calendar and (despite today’s more gloomy and chilly weather) outside as well. Like everyone I enjoy getting out after the colder winter months but I like it much better when it’s nice and warm, almost hot outside and tend to emerge from my winter hibernation a little later than others. But it has been warm enough, even for me, to get out for a few hours here and there.

 

The change in weather is going to cause some obvious adjustments to how I structure my day but right now I’ve actually got a pretty good routine happening, especially considering the recent rough months that I and my family have been going through. While I’m still reading daily and doing daily promotions, I am also doing a lot more writing and editing right now than I have been doing for quite some time.

My day’s lately have been going mostly like this:

•  get coffee and get kids off to school
•  check for updates on social media
•  check email (& return if necessary)
•  get another coffee
•  review writing from previous day and do basic spelling and grammatical corrections
•  check again for updates and post featured book of the day on social media
•  get another coffee and (maybe) a snack
•  write
•  make random google searches about random topics directly or indirectly related to writing
•  lunch (maybe)
•  check social media again and update statuses
•  write some more
•  get children from school and deal with after school activities, dinner prep
•  read while kids do homework and/or after dinner
•  send children to bed
•  check social media, update statuses, reply to messages
•  have a glass of wine or other drink
•  write or read until bed

…Then I sleep and repeat.

So I have a question for you – what have your days been like lately? Are you reading more or less than normal? Are you writing? Are you focusing on editing?

Or is it possible that Spring Fever has caught you and you’re distracted by the opportunities to get outside and active again?

Hellish Months

The last 4 months have been hell. I can't deny that there have been good moments because there have, many of them in fact. But I can't honestly look back at the last few months and feel all that much joy or happiness. It all started simply enough with my back going out. An event that has happened before and though painful, has never really slowed me down for more than a couple days.

This time it did.

Thus followed 6 weeks of chiropractic care, massage and physical therapy, and basically being restricted from doing anything more physical then walking back and forth between my car and house (or doctors, etc) because seriously even sitting upright for more than 30 minutes at a time made me lose the feeling in my feet and hands. Eventually I was finally given the clear to resume my normal activities, though there was firm insistence that I make some adjustment for when or how long I worked each day. And then I got sick. For more than a couple weeks I had migraines, fevers, congestion and more icky-ness to help make my daily life miserable. 

The holidays came and went. I was still sick - some days more than others. 

Then word came down from my parents and aunt that my grandmother, who was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago, was doing increasingly poorly and they (as well as her doctors and other health care aides) believed that she would soon be passing away. Within a matter of days the family was asked to ensure that someone was with her as much as possible. Because I was still sick more often then not, I couldn't be at the hospital all the time so I was relegated to other tasks in preparation for her funeral and memorial. 

After collecting nearly 1000 photos ranging over almost 90 years of life, it was my duty and privilege to put together a memorial video that would eventually be distributed to all the family and those family friends who requested one. 60+ hours of work went into the video, and while I was happy to be able to make it and to see all kinds of pictures of my grandmother (and other family members) in youth, every moment was heartbreaking. Because to finish the video, to finally put an end on it, meant that she was gone. 

Every morning we would call for an update on how she was doing. Every night we'd check in to see how the day had been. There were some good days but there a lot of bad one too. It got so that every time the phone rang you both hoped and dreaded that the end had come. When the phone rang one night while my husband and I were watching TV after getting the kids all off to bed for the night, where happy (sad?) to see that it was a call from the 'other side' of the family. So you can imagine our surprise when his mom informed us that his aunt had passed away very suddenly less than an hour earlier. Blindsided by the news we numbly sat side by side and sort of, but not really, finished watching our show. Then we spent a sleepless night trying to figure out how and when to tell our children of this unexpected loss. 

Receiving the call from my own parents before seven a.m. the very next morning, that my grandma had (finally) passed away was another blow. And while this we had quite obviously been expecting, combined with our family loss it became a far heavier load than we'd thought we would be carrying. 

The next several days passed in a blurring rush - informing the kids, calling family, finalizing funeral arrangements, finishing the video, writing a memorial speech with my sisters last minute, and simply getting from one point to the next, and the next. The family viewings were on the same evening. The funerals occurred on the same day: one in the morning and then one in the afternoon. Family dinners. Meetings. 

It's been a couple of weeks now and life is slowly returning to normal. I've even been writing every day this week, a bit each day on a few different projects. So, I guess we'll see what we see.

In the mean time... Happy writing.