Life. You Know?

I am so tired of adulting. 

You know what I’m talking about: all the responsibilities, obligations and time commitments that go along with being a “grown up” are draining. Add 4 kids to the mix and the adulting requirements increase exponentially. It’s exhausting at the best of time you guys. 

Right now, it’s damn near killing me.

via GIPHY

Last week my husband and MIL loaded up my van with a bunch of cardboard, paper and other recycling and then climbed in to go do those chores and an array of other errands. They drove out of our driveway and were immediately hit by someone who was speeding down the road and had just run/raced the red light two houses away. Right in front of our house. I’d said “see ya later” as they walked out the door and a couple minutes later I hear a massive boom, walk to the front of the house, look out the window, and what do you know? There’s my van (and the other persons car) smashed and in pieces right in front of my house. 

Everyone seems to be just fine I think - they’ve got stiff and sore necks/backs, and my MIL has some seatbelt bruising (her side of the van was impacted) - but other than that ok. 

But -

MY van... The only vehicle we have that accommodates our family of 6. The one I’ve driven every single day (or nearly) for the past 10 1/2 years. The vehicle I was going to need just hours later to take a kid to one of their activities, and then later to take another kid to theirs. 

Since that moment I’ve spent hours on the phone dealing with insurance, and getting a rental, and a host of other things. I spent one afternoon shopping to replace the car seat that was relegated useless after being through a collision. I’ve spent countless hours researching the value of my beloved van and looking for replacements. And now I know I’ll have to spend even more time doing that as my van has been deemed un-fixable and I HAVE to replace it. 

Ugh. 

All this on top of the normal multitudinous daily tasks and responsibilities I take care of every day. 

I’m tired of adulting. And I’m so physically and mentally exhausted that I’ve had no drive to write anything all week. I added maybe 50 words to my NaNo story before I heard the big boom. It sucks and I know that there is no way in hell I’ll come close to 50k words this month. But on the plus side - everyone is okay and I’m getting an unexpected vehicle upgrade. 

via GIPHY

How is your writing going though?? Are you on target to “win” NaNo this year?

Like One Step Forward, Three Steps Back

So another week has come and gone, and some writing has been done. Not a lot, but some. I had one really good morning of writing in the middle of the week where both ideas and words simply flowed. It was great. 

I am at a delicate point in my story so I find myself, not struggling exactly, but being careful in my composition. On one hand I know that I just need to write, to get the words, the story out of my head and onto the page. After all there will be plenty of time to revise and edit, and find the perfect words and way of telling later. On the other hand I still find myself editing as I write which causes a good amount of delay. 

But I’m writing. Which is better than I’ve been doing since last Christmas. 

In fact, I’ve added nearly as much to the story in the past 11 days as I had added in the previous 10 months. 

So whatever else, it’s good I’m writing. 

Writing Report: November 5-11 (2pm) 

Time Spent Writing: 2 hours (+ a good deal of editing time)

Words Written: 1450 

Total Words Added to WIP this month: 2984 

Until next time... happy writing!!

Stumbling in the Dark

It’s been a pretty dark place around here the past year, in so many ways. And silent. My god the silence - even the crickets haven’t made a peep. I’ve had no inspiration, no ambition, and every time I’ve actually sat at a keyboard to write (since January this year) has resulted in some newly developed but very creative procrastination techniques. 

I’ve done a lot of reading. A lot. A LOT. 

I’ve spent some much needed time with each of my kids. 

I’ve played quite a bit with graphic and cover design. Still not precisely to a level where I’d want to actually charge someone money for my efforts but I’m getting there I think. Slowly. 

I’ve moved the furniture around in my house three times - everything is essentially back to where it was in the first place now - and I’ve probably donated 100lbs of clothes to charity between myself and my four minis. 

But words. 

Words have been hard to come by. I’ve needed something to give me the kick in the ass that would get me back to work, back to writing and so... 

I did the thing again. I signed up and got set up to NaNoWriMo again. 

I guess we’ll see how that goes. 

Fingers crossed... though maybe I shouldn’t cross them, that may just make it even more difficult to type.

You can find me there (if you’re interested) as @LDFerris 😊😊

Writing... Why?

I’ve been writing for years. I have a hard time expressing myself in spoken word (not to mention that I get stage fright anytime I have to open my mouth and speak in public) but give me a pen and paper, or a computer and keyboard and I can put exactly what I want to be said, and explain everything that I want to be understood, into written words with little problem.

I’ve always told stories. I remember being in Jr. High School and getting on the bus in the morning and telling my friends about the dreams (even then they were incredibly vivid dreams) that I’d had the night before. Sometimes I’d write them down in a notebook or my diary, sometimes I wouldn’t.

In high school I wrote several short stories that my teachers told me were wonderfully imaginative and well written. In university I heard the same kinds of comments for my writing.

It wasn’t really a surprise (to me, anyways) when I finally decided that I wanted to publish. The journey has been long and has had many detours and road blocks that have crept in the way. Through it all though, writing was one thing that I knew no one could take away from me. Other’s could make me feel horrible about myself, to the point that I found it difficult to even write, but no one could take away my ability to tell a story. Not completely anyways.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’m back to focusing on writing (and promoting of other authors’ works as well) nearly full time. I don’t know what’s different this time but I just know that this time I’m actually going to get to the point where I actually do publish. Whether I make a name for myself, whether I make money or make enough money to support myself by writing isn’t important – I really just want to publish. I don’t know whether I’ll end up publishing by traditional routes or via self-publishing, but I want to publish and I’m going to do it.

I want to be able to tell people that my books can be bought on Amazon, or iTunes, or Kobo, or Smashwords, or whatever. I want to be able to say “yeah I’ve got 3 published novels”, or “I have 17 novellas available for purchase.” The money hardly matters, though yeah, it sure would be nice. But making money isn’t the reason to be writer. It’s not the motivation behind it, or it shouldn’t be.

Honestly, really, I just want to tell my stories. They’ve been mine so long and the characters just want to be given the opportunity to make you love them as much as I do. So I have to write them. I have to publish them.

Yes, I hope you like them. I hope you love them.

Yes, I hope I make at least a little bit of money – you know maybe enough to pay the bills and feed my kids.

But the truth is... Whether you like my stories and characters or hate them, whether I never make a dime and or break even in the process of publishing, I’m still going to write.

And maybe that’s the difference this time around. Rather than worry about creating something that everyone else might like or might pay for, I’m making sure that I’m creating something that I love and something that I can be proud of.

Because in the end, that’s what’s really important.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

After months and months of concerns, questions, worries and the occasional contradictory moments of feeling success and unhappiness, it's come to an end. In what is still a baffling turn of events (even after a full month of looking back and doubting myself, my previous actions, asking myself "why?", and generally feeling smaller than I've felt in more than a decade), I'm finally starting to look forward again, to tomorrow and next month and to next year and beyond.

And now that I am looking at the future again, I'm beginning to realize that in many ways I've been spinning my wheels. Figuratively, obviously. I've spent so much of the last 6 months waiting. Waiting for this to happen, so that I can do that. Waiting for this person to get me information about something so that I can do that thing. Just - waiting. Now I'm seeing that the holding pattern I was in was of particular design to keep me somewhat busy and somewhat content, so that I wasn't asking questions about what was going to happen next, where I was supposed to be going, or when the next step was going to be presented to me. It's an unfair position to be placed in but I suppose I'm not entirely blameless in the situation... I let it happen to me after all.

I was unhappy, bordering on miserable for a portion of the time, but despite my complaints and grumbling, I never really did anything to change the situation or push for more. As position, work and power was torn from me, as I watched those around me suffer in concert, I started to believe that I couldn't fix things and therefore as more time passed, I hardly even tried. And maybe I couldn't have fixed things. Maybe trying only would have pushed us all into the current situation sooner. But I should have tried, I should have pushed, and I should have realized far sooner that waiting wasn't doing anyone any favors (except those who will remain unnamed), least of all me.

Now ideas for the future are percolating in my mind and family and friends are happy to see and support a change in attitude, a change in goals and plans. But most of all they are happy to be supporting me in an endeavour that will create a better, happier, more stable situation for me, my family and, hopefully, a whole array of other people - young and old, as well.

So wish me luck! And I promise that as things move forward I'll do my best to keep you posted!!

Till next time, be happy and keep looking forward!

Working Through the Tough Spots

You’ve been working on a story for weeks, months, or even years.  It’s going great and though you began with a pretty clear-cut plan, you’ve been relatively happy to allow your characters and their story a bit of leeway to make some interesting plot turns.  Now you’ve hit that point in the story where you, as the writer, stumble.

Even though you know where you’re headed and the general path you intend to take, the words just aren’t coming.  You write, and write, and write, but when you review you’re nearly disgusted with what you read.  We’ve all been there.  We’ll all be there again sometime – maybe soon.

So how do you get through it?

I wish I could say that there was some simple method, an easy way to get over the hump.  The honest truth is that you just have to find something that will work for you and use it.  And you need to understand that what works one time, or for one person, may not work for another.

Generally that means that you just keep writing.  Good or bad, you need to get the words on the page; you can and will go back and edit, delete, revise, and even rewrite later.  The important thing here is just getting the words out.

Sometimes, and for some people, forcing the words out just doesn’t work.  In this case you may benefit most as a writer by going back to the beginning and (re)reading and editing the work you’ve already done.  As I said, you know exactly where you’re headed, taking the time to review where you’ve been won’t hurt.  And may in fact get those creative juices pumping again.

It could be that reviewing your own work may only make you feel more frustrated.  Then you’ve got a few other choices.  If you write a blog, work on a new post.  Tired of trying to write?  Try reading.  Whether it’s doing a critique read for a friend, picking up a new release at the bookstore or the library, or reacquainting yourself with an old favorite; reading someone else’s stories might just be that metaphorical nudge that helps to clear your mind and allows the words to start flowing anew.

The truth of the matter is that everybody is different, which is a pretty basic fact of life, so it makes sense that no two writers use exactly the same process when writing, none of us use the same methods when working through the tough spots.  So as I said at the start: find a method that works for you.  You’ll need to adjust and adapt as necessary, and always remember that just as your stories evolve from the initial idea that got the ball rolling, to the finished product you share with the world, your writing process is an ever-evolving thing as well.  You merely need to accept that things will never remain precisely the same each time through.

Sounds a lot like life, doesn’t it?

Making Time in a Busy Life

We all have busy lives and hectic schedules.  Maybe you work 40+ hours a week as a nurse, an accountant, a lawyer, or a teacher.  Or you may be a student with a full course load and a part-time job.  You could be a mom or a dad busy with bath-times, temper tantrums, school schedules, extra-curriculars, lunches, dinners, breakfasts and snacks.  You may even (most likely) be some combination of all of the above. 

Image by jjpacres via FlickrSo what does that mean for the time you’ve got to write?

Usually, if you’re human and not some mutant-type being that requires no food, rest or free-time, it means that if you truly want to write, you have to make the time to do so. 

It could mean that you’re writing during your lunch time. 

You may have to write in 15-minute stretches between classes or during study breaks.

Or maybe you have to take advantage of nap-times to sit down at the computer and write.  You could be that parent who is sitting with a notebook on your lap and scribbling ideas down as they come to you, while you’re watching the kids in gymnastics/skating/swimming lessons/etc.

The bottom line, no matter what you do or who you are, is that you’ve got to use the time that you can, take advantage of every moment that you can grasp and write.

I have three kids – 7-, 5-, and 3-years old.  The oldest is at school all day and the middle one is in doing half-days, while I (mostly) stay at home with the youngest.  They each do gymnastics, putting us at the club 3 days a week for their lessons.  The two younger ones also do skating lessons twice a week and the oldest started piano lessons this fall too.  On top of this I’m working part-time as well.  And that is just what we’ve got to do outside of the home – there are still of course all the regular chores, errands and tasks involved in caring for and taking care of a home and three kids.

So when do I write?

Honestly, whenever I can.  I keep a notebook in my purse with a pencil so that I can jot down ideas when I’m waiting for the kids at school or watching lessons.  I spend an hour or two in the morning on the computer checking e-mails, working on my blogs, ‘playing’ on Facebook and Twitter, and doing revisions and edits on my work.  And I spend an hour or so after I put the kids to bed most nights writing and working on my stories. 

Does this happen every single day? No.  Does this ‘schedule’ work every single time I use it? No.  Does it work more often than not? Absolutely.

We’re all busy people and we have to take that into account.  Very few of us, especially when we’re starting out, have the time or freedom to spend 8 hours each day writing and working on the computer.  But we all wish we could.  We all work toward the dream of being able to do just that.  Until then, all we can do is write when we can, and carve out as much time as we can manage.

So find the time that works for you, be happy writing and keep up the good work.

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And don't forget that it's Wednesday so we've got the Writer Wednesday Blog Hop going on!  To link up and hop click on the button to the right, and we'll see you around!

When It Rains...

Yesterday I was happy to discover that I'd been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.  It was one of those moments when have you blink a few times, just to check that what you're seeing is actually there.

So imagine my surprise when I stop by my blog for a quick check on things (I've become really weird about checking to see if people comment, so that I can respond if needed, and that type of thing) and discover that not only is there a new comment, but I've also been bestowed the marvelous honor of another blogger award.  

This time coming from Cassie Mae at Reading, Writing, and Lovin' It! I've been given the Liebster Award.

I can't say how grateful I am to receive these awards - as any blogger knows having something worth writing about is hardly half the battle, having someone to tell it to... that's the real challenge.  It's things like the Liebster and Versatile Blogger awards (and other awards of their ilk), blog hops and multimedia marketing (with Twitter, Facebook, and etc.) that help you gain the audience you need to make yourself heard.  Or read, I guess.  It is gratifying and humbling to know, to actually receive confirmation, that what you're writing is reaching someone else out there in the vast space of the blogosphere.  And honestly? Like any kind of commentation that writers/authors/bloggers receive - getting these awards only makes me want to write more.

So thank you Cassie Mae for paying forward the award (to see who I decide to pass the honor of the Liebster Award to, go to the Awards page - it'll be updated ASAP) and thank you for giving me another nudge on the shoulder, a pat on the back and a good word all in one.

50K in 30 Days

It is definitely that time of year again.

And amazingly I can almost hear the “Whaa?”

No idea what I’m talking about? No guesses? Come on!

Hhhmm…..

That’s right! It’s NaNo time again!!!

Now for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, and have apparently been living under a rock for the past 12 years…

NaNoWriMo = National Novel Writing Month = November

What does that mean?

Simple.  From November 1^st – November 30^th you write your heart out.  Your goal is 50,000 words in 30 days, or 1667 words per day.  Now, those 50,000 words should make up a pretty good start for a novel.  Realistically 50k words, all by themselves only makes up a novella length story, but really – is that something to complain about?  Can you really hear yourself saying on December 1^st “But it’s only 50k… That’s only a novella.”  BIG NO!

If you finish your 50k by midnight on November 30^th you pass into the glorious annals of history (of NaNo) as a winner, and you’ve got a 50,000 word manuscript sitting on your hard drive that can be added to, edited, revised and polished into a full length novel and you got there in 30 days!

That’s not chump change, my friends.

So the big question on everyone’s mind (well everyone who knew what I was talking about in the first place) is whether or not they are going to NaNo this year…

Last year I started with big plans.  Yes, I actually planned last year, thank you very much.  I had the idea for The Gifted percolating in my head and it wanted out.  Take a look at the side of this page, see the progress meters for the stories?  See the one for The Gifted?  See how it’s just over 5000 words? 

That’s me and my spectacular NaNoWriMo 2010 writing fail.

So will I be doing it again?

Hhhmmm….

Probably.  Okay, yes I’m going to do it… but ssshhhh – keep reading.

I’m not really sure that this year’s progress, or accomplishment, will be much better than last year.  Honestly, I’m just as busy, if not more so than I was last year and this year I’m also working part time too. (I’ll tell you all a bit about that next time maybe. It’s something new.  Sort of.)  But this year I’m also going to cheat.  A bit.  Slightly.  Sort of.

I actually got the idea to cheat from another writer who, like me, has a lot on the go right now and doesn’t want to ‘lose momentum’ on the projects that their already working on.  For me, it’s not so much about losing momentum as it is about actually getting something done.  I’ll be shifting back to The Gifted again for NaNo this year.  And the just more than 5000 words that I’ve already written?  I’m not tossing them.  When the story is “completely finished and ready to be published” those words and the beginning that I managed to write last year, will be there.  BUT I have the story to a point right now where it’s almost time for a ‘time jump.’

No, not time-travel, but that beautifully crafted jump in our stories where months pass in the blink of an eye.  Or with the turn of a page, as the case may be.  So November 1^st I’ll be starting immediately after the time jump.  Hello word count = 0! 

Will November 30^th find me at 50,000 words?  I really hope so. Mostly because I’d like to be able to come back and say “Yes, I finished!” but also because then I’d be 50,000 words closer to finishing that story. And remember how I said that while the idea had been percolating, that the story really wanted to be told.  Uh huh, now the characters are nearly as loud and obnoxious as my kids with their demands that their stories be told.  Really, NaNo this year may be my only hope for sanity.

And okay… LOL.  I think I’d better stop now, while you don’t think I’m completely off my rocker, and maybe, I don’t know… Go write something.  But not The Gifted, I’m saving that for NaNo. 

I think I’ll go to Greece.

You're Going to Want to Read This!

Please bare with me while I shamelessly plug my own work...
 

This here is just a little cross promotion of my writing that is posted on Becoming Dawn, the other writing blog that I run where I am Dawn McGlenn and writing fiction that is “here and now,” with none of the paranormal, fantasy or science-fiction bents that I live for when writing as LD Ferris.  (If you’re new and have no idea what I’m talking about then check out this post, where I discussed the stories that I’m currently working on as LDF or this post where I try to explain the Dawn vs. LD split personality.)

Image via WikipediaFor Halloween this year I wanted to write a themed story but when I finally managed to come up with an idea, it wasn’t a paranormal!  It was just a nice, if not slightly funny story about a group of teenagers excited about celebrating their last Halloween together before they 1) graduate high school, 2) go to college or university, and 3) have to grow up.  They’ve been friends since they were toddlers, and over the years Halloween has become the one ‘holiday’ that they’ve always spent together, no matter what.  So what happens when one of them, the ‘leader of the pack’ actually, makes plans to go away with her boyfriend and leave the rest of the group to their own devices, thus breaking tradition?  Is it a sign of what’s to come as their lives change after high school, or is it all…

Actually that might just give away something of the plot.  But I promise, even it’s not the most amazing, unique, and wonderfully written story that I ever publish, it’s still worth a read.  So… Check it out.

A Teen Halloween (part 1)

On an unrelated but also important issue, I want to thank Nicole from The World of My Imagination for starting the WritersWednesday Blog Hop.  As I mentioned last time, I participated this week (I wish I could say that I will do it each week, but life has a way of intruding sometimes…) and I really enjoyed checking out all the other blogs and sites that were part of the Hop.  It was a lot of fun and I started following a bunch of blogs that are witty, well written, informational and creative.  To everyone that I “met” during this weeks WWBH, this is just another shout out to you all – “You’re awesome!” – and to everyone from the Hop that stopped by here and figured that I was interesting enough to persuade you to follow me… I can only say this:

“Thank you.  I hope you’ll keep stopping by to see what I’m doing.  And I hope that I don’t bore you silly.”

And that’s it for today.  Now I’m going to go do some thing else…

Following the Hop!

I'm blog hopping today!  

The new "Writer Wednesday Blog Hop" is being hosted by Nicole on The World of My Imagination.  If you're a writer with a blog and would like to join in, or just someone who wants to check out what new, aspiring and established writers are blogging about, jump on over to Nicole's blog (just click that link), register your blog (if you've got one) and start hopping!  She's got all of the "rules" you'll need to know, right there.  Go Now... I know you want to!

Have an awesome Wednesday and I'll see you on the Hop!!

Taking the Paranormal in to the Everyday

           You wake up in the morning and it feels like you have balls of cotton shoved in your ears – you can hear, some sounds even seem amplified, but everything has that muffled quality that you’d hear through a door or wall.  When you pry your eyelids open the light is blinding to you, even as the gritt in your eyes rubs like sandpaper on the sensitive tissue.  You swallow and the burn is like a shot of potent alcohol.  You gasp, hoping to cool the burn but the cool air only cuts at your throat like a thousand tiny blades.  Realization hits you…

            You’re sick.

Image by Ivars Krutainis via Flickr

            Of course you are, but therein lies the amazing possibilities and wonderous range of what could be the cause of your pain and discomfort when (or if) you factor in a fantasy or paranormal angle to your story.  Maybe you’re waking up after being attacked by vampires.  Maybe you’re a witch who is experiencing the effects of a “magic hangover” after an overuse of power.  Or maybe you were the unfortunate victim of a Fright Demon (you know one of those terror inducing demons who literally live on the power of your fear, and particularly enjoy the sounds of your screams…)

            You add paranormal twists or a fantasy bent to your story and you create a world for yourself that literally (no pun intended) holds unending, limitless, fluidly imaginative possibilities.  You can go anywhere, be (or become) anyone, do nearly anything, and all because you’ve taken your character out of the ‘real’ world and placed them into a world of your own making.

            So where would you go, if you could go anywhere?  And where would you go, if you could go there in the blink of an eye?  Who would you be, or become, if you could take any identity you wanted with merely a wish?  If you could do anything, what would it be?  And through it all, would be acting for the good of your self, for the good of all, or to destroy everything in good in the world?  Would you be good or evil?

My Writing Soundtracks... Er, Playlists

Typically when I’m writing I have some kind of music playing in the background.  Sometimes I’m hitting up the soundtracks of Rent, Lord of the Rings, or even my most recent addition of Disney’s Rio.  Lots of the time I simply tune in to my Sirius account and listen to various satellite radio stations throughout the day.  I’ve been known to listen to classic Bach, Beethoven and Vivaldi.  But when I’m deeply immersed in a story (whether it’s The Chosen, The Gifted, or Immortals) I tend to put my trusty iPod on continuous repeat and sink myself into one of the ‘writing’ playlists that I’ve created for myself – full of songs that evoke thought and a variety emotions that I can channel into the characters and stories that I’m writing. 

Whether its Evanescence’s My Immortal (which ironically I don’t often listen to when I’m working on Immortals), The Killers’ Human, or Candle (Sick and Tired) by The White Tie Affair, the music becomes as much a driving force behind my writing as the dreams that first brought them to life.  The characters in the stories may come to be represented by a particular song.  A particular scene or chapter may be directed by a set of songs that give them meaning or power during the writing process.  The music infuses me with the emotions or perspective that I want to take and allows me to more easily flow through the situations that I create and describe as I write.

As an example, and to give you a peek at the songs that I might listen to when working on emotional scenes between my two lead characters, my playlist includes (but is not limited to):

Garth Brooks – The Dance

Blake Shelton – Austin

Allan Gray – Best I Ever Had

Five Times August – Better With You

The Wreakers – The Good Kind

Matt Nathanson – Faster

Hedley – For The Nights I Can’t Remember

Sara Bareilles – Gravity

Rascal Flatts – Help Me Remember

Darius Rucker – History in the Making

Gavin Degraw – I Don’t Wanna Be

Jason Mraz – If It Kills Me

Faith Hill & Tim McGraw – It’s Your Love

Christina Perri – Jar of Hearts

Taylor Swift – Love Story

The Killers - Mr. Brightside

Lady Antebellum – Need You Now

Kate Nash – Nicest Thing

Franz Ferdinand – No You Girls

O.A.R. – Shattered (Turn the Car Around)

One Republic – Stop and Stare

Katy Perry – Thinking of You

Scouting for Girls – This Ain’t a Love Song

Coldplay – Viva la Vida

Thriving Ivory – Where We Belong

The Fray – You Found Me

So what do you listen to when you write? Or when you’re working on something? Or are you the type of writer who needs silence to create?