Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Poem by LD Ferris (aka - me!)

I wrote this poem several years ago, maybe six, but the force behind it and the emotions that it pulls from me are as prevelant now as they were when I put pen to paper and poured out my heart.  I wonder if you'll guess what the predominant emotion was?

      XXX   OOO   XXX   OOO   XXX   OOO   XXX   OOO  

Only Moments Ago

You were here only moments ago,
I can still see your eyes in my mind.
You begged me to come and talk to you,
But I was too busy and I couldn't find the time.
You asked me to remember how things used to be,
And I told you that things had changed.
You swore that you'd always be here.
You promised that you would never leave.
You were here, only moments ago it seems,
I can still see your face if I try.
Now there's no time left to talk,
And things will never be the same.
You didn't keep your word, you broke your promise,
You made a change that can never be fixed.
You were here only moments ago,
I can hear your laugh in the wind,
You've left me standing where I shouldn't be
You went away and now there's only me.
In my mind you will always look as you did, when
You were here only moments ago.

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Can you guess? 

I wrote this particular poem when I was going through a difficult period of mourning.  At the time I was writing it my loss wasn't recent, in fact it was nearly 4 years old but regardless of time, my pain was still with me and still very much a real thing.  I can still remember every stab of loss, every feeling of guilt, every rending tear in my heart.  

Years later that pain is not as bad.  There are still certain days of the year that I dread facing, certain moments of days when I catch myself in memories (good or bad) and have to force myself to think of something else.  The loss was still so strong, so deep that I had to release the pressure somehow, and this poem was the result. There were others that I worked on at the same time but this piece was the only one that I felt truly represented what I felt when the loss occured and all the pain that followed me for years after.

I hope you like it.  Only Moments Ago is something that I've always had great pride in, I've always been happy with what it portrayed.  And I hope that if you're in need of some outlet you can read this entry and know that you're not alone in how you feel, and that all you have to do is reach out and someone will listen.

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